We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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