There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I FOUND THE LEGS
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
