I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Randomize
