Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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