I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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