if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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