we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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