so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
