Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
