Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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