Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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