Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
