i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
