he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
