new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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