Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
