I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She told me I should be a condom model.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
i out mim tonsoeep
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