Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
dude i'm inner monologue high
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Randomize
