she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
