I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
