I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
