So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
