yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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