whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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