No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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