dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
