After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Randomize
