My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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