my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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