I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
