its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
So much Jack, so little girl.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
