You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
