How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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