you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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