I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
