so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
