I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Randomize
