She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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