Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
