They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
