Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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