what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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