He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize