I puked a lego.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
