someone get that fucking seahorse.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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