The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
