More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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