yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It's official drugs can't kill me
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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