dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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