just tell him i said nine months
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
