OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
