It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
