It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
