Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
