you turned your livingroom into a bong?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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