YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
