this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm at about main and main street
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize