would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
