Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize