when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
