You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
