I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
