his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
