we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
