i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
