I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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