he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
