she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
