Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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