listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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