then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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