If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
