Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
