there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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