I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
