how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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