I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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