She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
