Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
