I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
