He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
