yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
