Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
